Conversation with "33"

... today You have arrived; a parting of ways and the conception of another; a friend i have never met; a face that has never yielded its warm reflection; a companion that intimacy will soon weave together into my cognitive labors, my hearts utterances, the breaths and strides expelled in order to gain progress toward an initiative that is not of my own. With You, God will usher in blessing and favor, vitality and perseverance, wholeness and love, passion and clarity; expounding, and expanding on all that He has orchestrated within the distant, and immediate past. Among the unanswered prayers that plead and beckon the bearing of fruit, i unlace the strings that fasten closed the corridors of my heart; i set my countenance towards You; robed and adorned in expectancy and hope. With You, hurt and loss may tag close behind in proximity; following in the meandering impressions that your steady feet leave in the shards of shell and sand. But the retrospective voice of the Spirit of God will articulate the imperceivable; bringing life to that which was disregarded and left behind; all counted as lifeless and futile; speaking muscle and sinew into existence; encompassing marrow that will soon become structural foundation for what will without doubt come; bones that prophetically point to miracles that anxiously lie dormant for the divinely appointed time and locale. I call You friend "Year;" though I know not what you bring; your motives, nor your comrades. The doors of my heart are open for God to use You as an anointed conduit between Him and I; the hands that reach forth and uncover the unknown in its harboring possession. You, 33, come crowned with favor...

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

…He gave the failures names; he gave them faces; carved within smiles and shimmery blue eyes, he took what was intended for good, and with his own words, dissected and divided it against itself; sowing questions and doubts in the fragile and vulnerable minds of the innocent and naïeve. The critical critique of the uncommitted; one whose tongue violently, and in haste, heaves stone after countless stone of opinion at the “glass windows” before him; ones that have boldly and courageously AND TRANSPARENTLY placed their lives on the target of critique; stepping forward on the frontline to lead and guide the trembling flock to safety; offering up their lives as sacrifices to feed and nurture them; lifting and building and preparing them for this life and the life to come; far from the wolves that beckon them into the shadows of isolation. How quickly his WORDS were rendered, but, how impotent was his ability and willingness to act; the uncommitted wolf in sheep’s clothing….

… a need was perceived, but the uncommitted wolf was unwilling to be the solution.

… opinions must be harnessed and kept at bay if we are unwilling to sacrifice and be a part of the solution; bringing a greater state of healthiness among the Body of imperfection. If not, they are just critical cries of the uncommitted…

The Sowing

A word has fallen from Your lips; fastened tightly upon an arrow traveling along its trajectory to the intended mark; my heart. The good soil has been broken by the till and the spade; softened for reception of the seed that you sow. The earth clings to the impartation; the preserver that gives life to the drowning. Every seed must die before it grows; held firmly within its earthen grave; protected within the rib cage; held safe in the harbor of the palpitating heart; far from the reaches of the scavenger birds that snatch away what seed has fallen upon the trodden paths and shallow soil. The source of the river knows no drought; His Spirit implacable; unmoved from the intentions and initiatives that have been scripted from time immemorial. Down stream; faces and names, lives and circumstances, histories and futures; each being graced by the outpouring of your love; a catalyst, a sowing, that outlives itself by minutes, weeks, months, years, and generations.

Perseverance and patience have produced a harvest; love proven through obedient sowing

Luke 8:15 "and the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good hearted people who hear God's word, cling to it, and patiently produce (through perseverance) a huge harvest."

Best Path

The reverberations within the heart and mind have slowly dissipated; a fleeting movement and gesture devoid of scoring; devoid of rhythm and melody. A surrender has commenced; a sweet severing from fear, from anxieties, from the hold that sorrow and joylessness bring. The last finger has departed from the grip it once laid upon the dream; the laborious toil that seized the mind and heart; her face, their coming, the destination, a formula, the shape and form, the gift, the promise and its expected time of arrival.  What was never mine, is now yours; the One that shaped the very heart You understand so well; a heart that beats to the cadence You have set. Take the very palpitations of my heart; the very things they yearn for; set them anew; eternally syncopated with Yours. The banner of peace and rest dances on the currents of the wind before us; following the Lamp unto my feet, the Light unto my path; the best path; one that was divinely ordained for this life I have been beckoned and wooed to live.

evidence

You have spoken to your child Father; sweet tears are left behind on my cheeks as evidence of this intimate moment; no longer fighting the stone in my throat, but yielding to its presence by releasing the inexpressible from the depths of my heart; in it's brevity, knowing that the words my eyes laid gaze upon were at that very moment being breathed upon my heart by the One that holds it so carefully within His hands. You have taken what was worthless; what was tattered and soiled; and have made it your prize possession; from the heart of the self inflicted tempest you have removed her sails; giving her calm waters and a harbor; giving her an [ANG-ker]; trusting her with a message for foreign shores. The Unworthy are filled with gratitude; honoring you with thankfulness from deep waters; knowing that the very breath in our lungs; the very message that we carry within our bow; is evidence of heaven touching earth.... Evidence that God hears and is faithful to respond to cries of the broken.

... And from this place we cry out for the broken...

... A ship finds itself tied off to a sturdy dock; harbored and protected from the unrelenting tempest out in open waters; woven tightly into ONE within a seam of wood planks and weathered rope. Give those around you something sturdy and steadfast to tie off to; YOUR lives. Through vulnerability and transparency, open up your lives to them as harbors of safety and restoration; making a bold proclamation to move against the current of conformity and comfortability..... Being the Church that we were called to be....

... Allow them to tie off to YOU mighty Anchor. Bless you!

... REST in quiet confidence and humble contentment; steadfast in truth that the Author of our salvation; the Architect of life itself; IS WITH US... guiding us down, and lighting the very path that He has willed into existence; the very novel that He has written with His meticulous and grace filled hands; a cobble stone path that He has set our treasured feet upon...

... He is able to guard what we've entrusted into His hands.... Our lives; the precious gift of our hearts...

... as each grace-filled breath rushes in; expanding and filling our forever dependent and needy lungs; thankfulness floods over us and overwhelms our hearts; knowing that each incremental step of the journey is a treasured gift from the very hands of our Maker. We are moved by gratitude and thankfulness; lifting our sails heavenward; shoving off into uncharted waters and unfathomable depths of faith; cutting all ties with the shore that beckons to keep us close within her arms; responding to love WITH love. And as we lovingly trust the Compass that resides within our chest with each faith-filled "yes" that falls from our lips, many of hearts will be lifted from stormy seas on our course; baring great evidence of heavenly perfection in our masts as we love with no regard or hesitation....

... Passionate prayers break the silence of empty houses; lips delivering the narratives that echo and reverberate off of battered wood floors and weathered walls. Not one has gone astray; not one has been lost; each being carefully received and embraced by the ONE that examines all hearts.... Your prayers and petitioning have been heard; God knowing all that is pressing in and causing weight and pressure to build within your chest cavity; a stretching of the seams of faith; a tearing that is the catalyst of discomfort AND growth; a building of muscle and limberness. Hold firmly to your anchor of hope, and find comfort that God is bringing you to a place of greater revelation and wisdom; of peace and joy; of purpose and of passion; finding comfort knowing that His silence is proof that He is at work.... Be anchored into today; present and available to receive, and to bless with the God-given radiance that emanates from you.

... OUR toes have met the edge; each incremental stride ushering us nearer to the faith filled leap we must take; away from the safety prior to our departure; far from the security of flat and stable footing; leaving behind all that we knew for something foreign, yet divine. Our heart knows this place; palpitations thundering through the threading of our veins; rattling the very cage of our ribs as our breath seems to escape us in a game of hide and seek. But within the tempest there is peace. WE have followed His footsteps here to this very place; confidence being found in His leading; strength imparted in our weakness; sight rendered in our blindness. He has led the way FOR us; a broken and tattered mosaic that victoriously sets our hearts toward heaven as light permeates the shards of glass that compose it...

... As we receive wisdom and strength and peace to leave the safety of the ledge, WE too give confidence to all that follow the light that emanates from us; a heavenly lantern illuminating the path home...

... Lead the way. Guide them to the TRUTH that has found you, and the TRUTH that you have received with all hope and confidence. You have been chosen and trusted to walk in Christ's footsteps. Lead the way mighty Anchor. Amen.

... this very juncture in time; the backdrop that has been painted ever so delicately on the canvas; the cobble stones on which my weathered and tattered feet are bound; the sea of faces, the ripples of colors and textures, the beckoning of light and of sound. You, Lord, have penned me in this chapter with ink and with steady hand; love calling out the beauty that has been held hostage for so many years. Illuminate all that I must see and lay hold of; calling to the water's surface the destiny within each fleeting moment in it's brevity; aligning each puzzle piece to reveal the intended design. Their faces; their countenance; their very spirit and confession; a reflection of who I am, and who I am becoming. The impossible stands before me; green eyes setting their gaze upon mine; whispering into my ears the Author's truths; the Author who knows nothing of impossible. They are only a shadow of who YOU are becoming...

.... soak in every moment; drawing from it all that God has for you; a stepping stone into God's best for your life; a life that WILL change the trajectory of the multitude. You are a mighty[ANG-ker]!!! Hold on to your Everything; the one who has given you everything.

Anchor, we are chained to you; permanently fixed and held stationary by your unrelenting strength; a divinely crafted marriage that not even death can separate. The tide cannot lay hold of our hull and steal us away within the night; the waves will not rise and abandon us on distant shores. Our roots shatter solid ground and dive into the depths of the nourishing Soil; anchoring into Life itself. Winter comes like a thief in the night; stripping us bare of all external beauty; Summer bullying us with thirst and parched lips; Spring and Fall dancing with our emotions; clothing us with vivid and stunning colors; dissipating and fading within the seasons that proceed forth with no patch of loyalty sown upon the breast of their coats. Anchor, we are forever anchored into You; the confession upon our lips being that “you ARE good; it IS who you are; faithful through gales and tidal surges; eternally dressing our branches with heavenly fruit in, and through, each season that arrives and quickly fades away.” Our eyes are fixed upon yours; patiently awaiting Your slightest signal.

… We are watched over in our coming and going; never found separated from the One who created us. Adopt that which has been exampled for us; becoming the guardian and watchman over those written into the pages of your book; tying off their vessels to the [an-chor] that you ARE. Protect and nourish. Amen

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

…He gave the failures names; he gave them faces; carved within smiles and shimmery blue eyes, he took what was intended for good, and with his own words, dissected and divided it against itself; sowing questions and doubts in the fragile and vulnerable minds of the innocent and naïve. The critical critique of the uncommitted; one whose tongue violently, and in haste, heaves stone after countless stone of opinion at the “glass windows” before him; ones that have boldly and courageously AND TRANSPARENTLY placed their lives on the target of critique; stepping forward on the frontline to lead and guide the trembling flock to safety; offering up their lives as sacrifices to feed and nurture them; lifting and building and preparing them for this life and the life to come; far from the wolves that beckon them into the shadows of isolation. How quickly his WORDS were rendered, but, how impotent was his ability and willingness to act; the uncommitted wolf in sheep’s clothing….

… a need was perceived, but the uncommitted wolf was unwilling to be the solution.

… opinions must be harnessed and kept at bay if we are unwilling to sacrifice and be a part of the solution; bringing a greater state of healthiness among the Body of imperfect and broken believers. If not, they are just critical cries of the uncommitted…

Beautiful Giant

“oh, what a beautiful giant you are; awakened from slumber; peeled away from the very dreams you were having. How long have you been asleep? … buried in the recesses of my heart; locked behind ribs and muscle tissue in a state of hibernation; awaiting the infiltration of light through the key hole.

Oh, beautiful giant, what distant lands have your eyes laid gaze upon; what castles and kings have you conquered and taken possession of; what future and destiny to you cradle within your powerful hands??? … it has taken so long for you to open your eyes; shaking off the cobb webs and dust as your lungs fill to capacity with the breath of God; willing your very existence to be.

…from here, I cannot bridge the gap in perspective; shaking hands with the end of my weak, finite state. My eyes do not see what lies over the next mountain, but you smile knowing the victories ahead; the smell of them; the very shape and form of them; the sweet melody that they sing.

…but.... I smile knowing that my God is bigger; from His perspective, you are just a small beginning beautiful giant.”

...Mighty Messenger...

... a message only has as much authority as the one who sends it...

... knowing my humble position as a chosen and adopted VESSEL allows for the very message entrusted into my care to bear weight and carry authority; the posture that was purposefully intended for all messengers alike. As quickly as the focal point shifts and plays away from "sender" to "messenger," all the quicker the diminishing of authority of the message that is held; God's precious, life-giving words that you harbor. The message itself dissipates in the wind; withering like parched, moisture starved pedals in the unforgiving sun; it loses the very power in which it was conceived and pinned; finding itself lost in translation; long forgotten due to the inclusion of "self" and it's message.

... who's words are you carrying mighty, messenger boy??? Bring to remembrance that you have been graced with authority by the the ONE who has authorship of ALL authority.... the ONE who sent you forth into all nations holding high His banner of salvation.

... carry His words well...

Matthew 28:18-19; Luke 24:47

"the forgetful"

... God tattoo them on our hearts; not for the mere purpose of becoming a life raft for our flailing appendages to cling to, but ever more, to be a recoil that smashes the Alzheimer's that attempts to rob us from the very traces of your touch; fragments of your miracles in, and throughout the eternal narrative that has included us thus far. Oh, how we have forgotten the morning; the intimate beckoning and wooing of our Christ; the groom that cherishes every breath that is expelled; every unspoken dialogue of the heart that dissipates in the shifting wind.

...Night has arrived and we have become enamored; paralyzed by the kaleidoscope of lights and sounds.

...Tattoo your miracles upon our hearts; measures in time where Heaven penetrated the very fabric of Earth and all its human finality. Tattoo us Jesus, so that when you call out to us to climb overboard; scaling the exterior of our vessels of comfort and buoyancy; we will lower ourselves onto the water's surface with boldness and courage; standing tall above the wind blown fetch of life and it's plans to level and to afflict the Called and the Chosen. We WILL gaze into your eyes; familiar eyes that have been carved into impressionable memories from Heavenly intervening long ago.

... We fix our eyes, and turn our hearts toward You... and You faithfully reach out and grab the hands of the doubtful and the frightened.

*Matthew 14*

"I am..."

... solitude knocks on the sliding glass window; beckoning me to quietly slip away from the race being run by the world within the dusty corridors of our home. Everything within me knows, and whispers of communion with Christ. Perched upon a rustic deck composed of rotting wood and rusty nails, I deny myself the imagery of nature itself and the assaults of my unrelenting thought process; quieting my muscles of the tension they hold with every breath that is taken in. Prayer is conceived...

... I thank Him for His goodness; how evident His grace and mercy become within the heart crushing fact that He allows, and yearns for me to ask of Him; petitioning the desires of my needy heart; and affords me the choice to dwell in the shadow of His Holy presence. Like the sun’s flames torching the dawn’s horizon, I render the requests congregating on the forefront of my heart and soul. I ask God to speak to me in the quiet recesses of my heart; asking to be privileged enough to hear His soft, gentle voice, and, tangibly feel His fatherly, love within a sweet embrace; wrapping His arms around me to calm every storm that has battered the shoreline of my heart; resuscitating the palpitation of a heart that has given up and slipped away.

As the words surface from the uncharted places of the abyss, I ask God to transform ALL that is me; every shard and fiber; to reveal Himself and His furious love; to encourage and carry; to guide and to equip; to bless and to favor; to cry and to mourn WITH me; to be close..... And, as my words and the prayers of my Spirit begin to cease, I hear a faint whisper say...

.... I am...

The Adoption

An adoption process has been set into motion; a communion with what is not perceived and with what is graciously received by the external party. There is an importance in harboring that which others receive from us; regardless and void of our own perception and emotions that are conjured up from that proclaimed theory. Yes, discernment must be firmly clung to in relation to this personal adoption before giving yourself the green light to accelerate forward into new territory.

In the closing of this latest season, I feel that I have had to step out in faith into new roles; waters that have been unexplored and uncharted until these present moments; the expanding and broadening of my faith, intimacy, and total effectiveness; a depth that God alone is leading me to. These "positions" that others have defined and characterized me with possessing have been, at the very least, stretches for me; positions and titles that I would have never fathomed to give myself, but, have been wonderful series of self discoveries and God given revelations. By quickly adopting these banners of "pastor, father, big brother, leader, peace bringer, etc" I have been able to hone in and be more purposeful in my interaction with others; meeting the needs well beyond those just at the water's surface. When you quickly marry these defining adjectives, courage and boldness soon follow; seeing the feasibility of the impossible growing as your faith takes on greater capacity; firsthand testimonies of God's marvelous power at work through you as you step out into the inconvenient and unfamiliar. God is quick to fill and encourage in these fresh moments of obedience and selflessness. What I had perceived could never have been outworked in me, has been unfolding magically before me; mindsets being eradicated and rebuilt.

...It is wild how starkly different the renderings can be of yourself; at the mercy of others and their steady brush strokes. Maybe, just maybe, it is healthy to know the three renderings; my own, my peers, and, MY GOD's.

Casting on the Other Side

I am speaking from a place that is familiar, only because I am walking IN it at this juncture in time; yet it in truth, it IS a place of unfamiliarity... casting my net on the other side of the boat.

In John 21, Peter, as well as Thomas, James, John, Nathaniel, and two other undisclosed disciples, find themselves in the very same predicament that I stand in at this moment. These highly skilled and overqualified fisherman had been up all night long throwing nets, and by dawn’s arrival, had caught no fish to speak of. And with the dawn came Jesus; a word beckoning them to a new level of faith. From one hundred yards away, Jesus, giving no word of persuasion, rather a blatant command, told them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat. And from that faith-filled cast a blessing would be yielded.... and was.

What an uncomfortable place to be. You find Peter and his mates being told how to do their jobs from a stranger on the beach; who we only find out later is Jesus. What if the left side of the boat is all they had ever known; what if throwing with their left arm was more comfortable and more efficient than throwing with their right. Maybe taking the net to the other side was actually a rather large thing to ask of them; a pain staking task to be exact; maybe in that fact, they had to take up the anchor and reposition the boat to do so. And to be honest, would 20 feet the other direction really make a huge difference??? But to Jesus, this faithful response meant everything; and Peter and his boys voluntarily chose to venture into unfamiliar territory; a place where pride and fear cannot go; a place of great blessing, as well as stretching.

This makes me think about my own approach to Christ; how we approach others; our dreams....

Peter’s heart’s desire was to catch those fish. Intimate encounters with Jesus is my fish; what I am casting my net for. And maybe your hearts desire is to see lives miraculously changed by the Savior of the world; a longing we ALL have stitched within our being. But, has our approach found itself residing in a place of familiarity; hanging out on the comfortable side of the boat??? Like Peter, Jesus wants to fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts. But the question is, are we willing to walk away from comfort to receive blessing; a blessing extending far beyond what we originally conjured up in our minds.

Sometimes we have to allow Jesus to walk us to the other side of the boat to receive that blessing; a place of unfamiliarity and discomfort. But in this shift, not only will lives be transformed, but intimacy with our creator will find new depths.

Be bold and step out in faith.

John 21:1-14

Walking Forward from Now

... I have found, and have received salvation in Christ; nothing in this world can satisfy that which has ALREADY been satisfied in Him. So as I walk forward to eternity, i need not seek anything else; the most precious gift is already in my possession. Amen.