When I daydream about being in Australia, I see a completely other person when I see me; someone stronger, someone more WHOLE; I see me standing confidently; someone who has stepped into the person God created them to be; untampered and unaffected by a world whose agenda mirrors nothing of God's; a vantage point He only allows us to see and experience. I see and hear words of boldness and courage falling from my lips; I see me lying face down on the ground in unbridled worship; crying out in the overwhelming presence of God. I see me overflowing in His thoughts and His words; a divine connection that has been reestablished and unveiled; unselfishly sowing into the lives of those in arms reach.

When I daydream about being in Australia, I truly want to become the person I see; not to keep and hoard for my own selfish gain, but, so that I bring God joy, and can be used for His divine plans.

Amen.

Giants

There are giants in my life; giants trying with all their might to reclaim a victory that has been lost for eternity; efforts that are unrelenting and know no rest and boundaries; adversaries that know no definition of fairness or compassion; the archer's arrow that yearns to usher death to completion; dropping the stag before hoofs can break ground within the promise land.

I WILL press on for God's best; at all costs, choosing to share in Christ's suffering so that I may be graced with the sincere privilege, and, deemed worthy, to step into what God has prepared; to be HIS messenger.

They might be giants, but HE is my God!!! One by one they WILL fall!

In ALL honesty, speak honestly; speaking the truth with courage and boldness into the lives of those who surround you in your sphere of influence. Even when combativeness is in foresight, fight with all that you have been given to speak in words of black and white; the shade of gray does not, and, will not conceive or sustain true life. Grace IS bound to truth; an unconditional love that will seize the opportunity, and, knows from wisdom that it is FAR greater and most beneficial to step on toes and make others uncomfortable in their own skin from a vantage point of love; taking a leap of faith in order to speak life-giving truth into others lives; giving silence the back seat and the silent treatment. In light of truth that needs to be spoken, there is NO love in silence. Truth that speaks from love WILL pierce and cut through muscle and bone, but, will be the first to kneel and lift you from the cold and lifeless concrete; speaking healing words of encouragement and affirmation.

God, arm the time bomb hidden within my ribs; detonation awakening the slumbering creation groaning within me; all that you intended for me to be when you formed me within your steady hands from dust.

...even when words can't be uttered and expressed, love IN action takes over and transcends all boundaries and scales all walls; in silence, Love can, and will be spoken quite clearly and unfiltered to the heart...... God taught me this tonight.

...making a love deposit into someone's life is like heaving a stone into the middle of a pond; a magical contact that commences the dispersion of ripples in every direction; a tree whose branches zealously push outward to shower in the sun. Tonight, a random act of love has changed my life. Others WILL feel the caress of that ripple.

Thank you God for tears; little friends that let me know that I am alive; that I'm not a machine; that I feel hurt, and feel joy; that I have emotions that live in the depths beneath the water's surface; a place where some "choose" to dwell. Hurt reminded me that I was alive today; persuasion beckons me to live life like a machine. Here's my poetic, declaration of refusal.

April 10th, 2010: Home Away From Home

I am surrounded, and, overwhelmed by empathetic compassion and love; FAMILY; something I was involuntarily starving for and had no recollection of. A week had pulled itself from the shadows and lodged itself on my jugular; leaching and embezzling energy and strength from muscle and bone; places unseen by spectating eyes. God reminded me of why I must press on through the dark today; enduring exhaustion and sleep deprivation for the sake of another; conquering all selfishness and pride; all for the hearts and eternal purposes of MY family. Abby, God has His hand on your life. He has set you apart to be a shepherd over His flock. Receive it with joy and with utter reverence. What a wonderful privilege WE are not worthy to posses. The devil must be furious of what WE accomplished today, and, of what will continue to spread like dry, wild fires in the howling Santa Anna winds.

April 9th, 2010: Coffee, Good Weather, and the Back Porch...

Being the weak human being that I am, I spend a lot of my time, why lie, most of my time, on the clock at my place of employment thinking of witty comebacks and "truth-bombs" I'd LOVE to drop in altercations, that for the most part, will NEVER happen at all. In ALL honesty I spend five hours a day becoming a slave to my fantastical daydreams of getting the rare chance to speak some wisdom into the managerial staff at Fedex Ground; a sad waste of energy, and, missed opportunities to worship God and speak love into other comrades lying in the trenches beside me; a dark chasm longing for the presence of God.

I was doing some thinking, a.k.a. detoxing, on the back porch this morning and had a wonderful thought dropped into my brain. In all sadness of truth, many of my coworkers HAVE to work second and third jobs just to eke by financially each month; the big, bad bully that steels your lunch, and, your joy!!! My thought, by the world's standards, I don't work a second job. Out of my own volition, and due to the priceless knowledge I have obtained of the call God has placed on my life, I work the 4 a.m. shift in a place that some would refer to as hell. I chose to execute this move so that in the evenings, four-or-so days a week, I can volunteer my time leading worship and mentoring junior high and high school kids within the four walls of my home church; setting the tone for God to knock one outa the park; yearning for other hearts to be wrecked by the same Jesus that wrecked mine. Most would think that volunteering is not a job; no currency exchange for the work rendered equals NOTTA JOB right? But my thought that tagged along behind that statement was; is money the only thing that you can be payed in??? Some get payed in money, others in food; some get payed in love, and others in friendship; some get payed in joy, and others in satisfaction and fulfillment. Just think, being God's hands and feet; loving on the lost and the broken; a job that many would speak of as "just volunteering;" a position that pays in a currency far greater than money; NOTING that our actions won't ever be enough, and will never be able to earn our way into heaven; but in all truth and wisdom, the GIFT of salvation is a far greater payoff to turning your back on the world's noise and following the peaceful revolution modeled by Jesus; a life driven by unconditional love and forgiveness.

So here's my formal declaration over the white noise around me; I choose to keep pouring into the lost and broken; a world in desperate need of a Savior..... Jesus. Knowing, that only by faith and trust in Him are we truly saved; a victorious payoff that took place two thousand years ago; a payoff that will continue to echo throughout time until His glorious return.