Saturday, July 30th, 2010 - Coffee with Jay from Wales

... I count it such a huge blessing to have had the chance and privilege to meet such a strong man of God; Jay, the 3'7" englishman from Wales; small in respect to physical size, but, incredibly massive in heart, and, truly Goliath in his faith in our God.

... there is much God has spoken to me while escorting Jay around in his wheel chair; what he likes to refer to as the "spaz-chariot." Oh, to be able to laugh in our circumstances; being able to respond to God's grace in light of the fires raging out of control around us. It is a conscious choice NOT to react to what life deals you; it is a choice to RESPOND to God; to reflect and volley the grace that has been poured out on you. How side swiped I was by the TRUTH that Jay spoke, "I AM created in God's image;" a statement that may leave others questioning their faith in Jay's presence; a scripture that took on new meaning for me today; seeing that we has humans judge ourselves against the measure of other human beings; a dangerous measure indeed. In Jay's words, God's words were coming through so clear; God has the slightest concern for the physical aspects of our life; with how we look, how well we speak, how awesome OUR efforts are being displayed to the church body and world; not negating His desire for us to be healthy and free of sickness and successful, but, the truth that He is far more concerned over the condition of OUR hearts; our salvation and eternal destination. God is far more concerned that we spend the rest of eternity in His presence, not looking good for our peers and earning our outstanding ovations.

...it IS a wild thought the we feel the need to react to life and perform a song and dance for those positioned around us. Like Jay, we must respond to God's grace and KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that out of love, we WERE created in His image; that we were fashioned with the likenesses of God; His character and His loves. And in that realization, peace will come and weights will be lifted, AND, we'll quit worrying and measuring ourselves against fickle human standards.

... thank you Jay!

...when God is applying His divine pressure on us; situations that demand a faith-filled dependency on Him; a place where we are being shaped and bent as we wait ever so patiently for His divine response.... a.k.a., the human impossible feat... in these moments its not only important to know what He is pulling out of us and strengthening, but it is also good to take a mental inventory of our response to this pressing. How is my external response comparing against my inner reality; the spiritual reality within me. If we are truly at peace with the fire that God is refining us within, do our actions tell the same story?

.. sometimes I must exercise the response of quiet confidence in our Lord; speaking without reservation reflects the nervous, drowning and flailing state of the UNTRUSTING child.

...Boldly and courageously, and with quiet confidence, leap into God's redeeming flow. Really trust in His perfection...

"God, you can have everything, but you can't have my motorcycle.."

...today has been remarkably difficult; showing no signs of struggle to the world around. A peace filled "YES" has led to another fork in the road; weighty decision applying pressure to the inner reality of my world. I have prayed for clarity; believing that God would speak clarity and guidance on the topic at hand. But, have I longed so much for someone to pour out the answer on me that I have grown fearful and naive to digging up the treasures placed within me? I listened for you God in the voices of your children; wanting so badly for prophesy to blanket my heart.

Divine intervention within the context of coffee; listening ears and a soft heart speak into my life through complete silence. Wisdom at hand, Kevin gave me no words of guidance. He ALLOWED me to drown in my own thoughts enough to learn to swim.....revelation came within the flailing. The Holy Spirit presence was FELT within the room.

...I speak of THIS journey as a sacrifice; a series of moments that beckoned me to let go of a part of myself; being asked to walk in submission and sacrifice. But, I now know that I have forgotten one string to cut; overseeing one hidden facet; the last penny to let go of.... MUSIC.

Sometimes we speak of sacrifice only in the physical; family, friends, relationships, money, time, comfort.... over coffee I discovered the need for me to surrender my DREAMS to God; passions lying deep within the corridors of my heart. I trusted God enough to yield the broadness of my life to His will, but selfishly, held so tightly to my dreams; that God's will had walk in line with MY dreams. But i know that for me to be able to walk into the massiveness of God's call on my life, I MUST be able to lay down ALL that is me; an authority written over my life by the hand of Yahweh.

Forgive me Father for my mistrust and selfishness! I trust that fullness is on its way; wholeness rides in with the approaching dawn...

...music does not define me, OUR Creator does.

I have chosen to study pastoral leadership here at Hillsong College; not laying down my gift permanently, but within a heart of surrender, releasing it for a season...

Knowledge at the Beginning: Hillsong Journey

... the deeper my roots grown down into the soil and bubbling spring that is Christ, the more I become a living target to be shot at...

But I AM called, and, I AM covered by the blood of Jesus. Game on...